Its the holiday season, the time of the year when my lows really hit low. My anxiety starts to skyrocket, I just become a mess. I start going to the gym repeatedly, start getting quiet, and start shutting down. Its not that I am necessarily mad at anyone, I am just hurting inside and I don’t care for people to know that. No one understands what its like to relive every holiday, every year and have it just be miserable. These were the best times of my life and now I just dread them. I try to see the positives of the holiday season, yet its so hard. Christmas is just quiet now because we are all trying to figure it out.
Everyone is so tense during the holidays as is. I try to just stay calm. Sometimes that seems to be impossible. People start to get moody and I understand that. Celebrating with your family is a great time, just is a little different when people who are suppose to be there are not.