A letter to you.

Dear You,

We spent a lot of time together, but it was time you spent happy. You had plans for us, that I was not part of. You wanted kids, a family. You wanted a house. You wanted to adopt puppies and get married. I wanted to finish school. This entire time we were together although there was good times most was spent me trying to please you. How was that fair? Was I just not enough of a person to say no to spending my weekends with your friends I had no connection with? The nights that I stayed up till 2 AM doing homework because you felt the time I should have been doing it should have been spent watching you play Xbox, or looking at houses I didn’t care to buy? Where was my plans in any of this?

As you can read above I know what its like to be in a relationship that you don’t even feel part of. I know what it feels like to be someone’s nothing. Its the time that you go through when your whole life is spent trying to please them. When instead of going to the mall to splurge and by yourself a million things you are left with hmmmm maybe I should surprise him with something ( its sometimes nice, but like all the time is too much). He bought you flowers one time, one single time.

You gave up a lot of friends dating him. you found flaws in these friends just to have a reason to not have to speak to them because he didn’t like them and now they want nothing to do with you. If it ever was to a guy spoke to you or even seemed like he had interest to you, I had to make sure you were not going to try to fight him. I saw this as protection because I was “your girl” now I see it as manipulation because I was yours.

It has taken a long time for me to see where I needed to be and now I know it was far away from you. We shared many times, but the bad outweighed the good. I need to be my own person and you need to find you. It hurt and it took a lot to walk away, but it was for the best and I know you cannot accept that, but this ones for me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s